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Table of Contents

The Ingredients

Sourdough bread
Buitoni brand pesto sauce
Buitoni brand marinara sauce
Cream cheese
Sliced provolone
Sliced mozzarella
Shredded Romano cheese
Mayonnaise (not Miracle Whip)
Garlic Powder
Italian Seasoning
Lots and lots of napkins

The Steps

In a mixing bowl, combine equal parts cream cheese and pesto and mix well.
Spread the cream cheese/pesto mix on the "inside" of each slice of bread.
On one slice of bread,

stack

place sliced mozzarella.
On the other slice of bread,

stack

place sliced provolone.
Spread marinara sauce on one

side

of the two slices of bread, on top of the sliced cheese.
Sprinkle some shredded Romano cheese on top of the marinara sauce

with shredded Romano cheese

.
Put the slices together.
"Butter" the outside of the bread with mayonnaise

and

, then dust the mayonnaise with garlic powder and Italian seasoning.
Grill on a hot pan or skillet until the cheese is melty and bread is golden brown.
Consume. You will need napkins.

^{Photo by Jonathan Levy}

The History

This recipe is a modified version of the TMNT Grilled Cheese published by Geek With Curves. Most notably, I left out the pizza rolls due to logistical difficulties; when you bit into the sandwich, the pizza rolls had a tendency to squirt out the opposite side of the sandwich. To substitute, I used sliced mozzarella cheese. I also swapped the ciabatta bread for sourdough slices, then worked my own magic with the mayonnaise, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning.

I once seduced half a kingdom with these sandwiches in attempt to impress one person (it worked, and we that person and I dated for three happy years).

A meal of four sandwiches was once auctioned off in a fundraiser for the Kingdom of Caid (the winning bid was $55).

^{Photo by Jonathan Levy}

Why “Gargoyle” Grilled Cheeses?

These aren’t regular grilled cheeses, so they needed a name. I really love gargoyles, so I called them “Gargoyle Grilled Cheeses.” It has a nice ring to it, too! And during one event, I drew a mascot on the back of a paper plate:

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The Melting Goes Ever On

Not content to rest on the laurels of a killer backstory, I’ve been making these grilled cheeses a few times a year during festivals held at a local small business called Pixie’s Intent. My first event with them was in 2019. When the weather isn’t prohibitively hot (and after a long break during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic), I set up a table and make grilled cheeses on a donation basis (the donation is to offset the cost of ingredients). I do this as a form of community service; I love making these sandwiches and seeing people’s reaction. Shop regulars (and staff!) look forward to this special treat, and it warms my heart to be able to share the joy of these sandwiches with others. That’s why the documentation for this recipe is free to all!