How to make Gargoyle Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

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The Ingredients

  • Sourdough bread

  • Buitoni brand pesto sauce

  • Buitoni brand marinara sauce

  • Cream cheese

  • Sliced provolone

  • Sliced mozzarella

  • Shredded Romano cheese

  • Mayonnaise (not Miracle Whip)

  • Garlic Powder

  • Italian Seasoning

  • Lots and lots of napkins

The Steps

  1. In a mixing bowl, combine equal parts cream cheese and pesto.

  2. Spread the cream cheese/pesto mix on the "inside" of each slice of bread.

  3. On one slice, stack sliced mozzarella.

  4. On the other slice, stack sliced provolone.

  5. Spread marinara sauce on one side.

  6. Sprinkle the marinara sauce with shredded Romano cheese.

  7. Put the slices together.

  8. "Butter" the outside of the bread with mayonnaise and dust with garlic powder and Italian seasoning.

  9. Grill on a hot pan or skillet until the cheese is melty and bread is golden brown.

  10. Consume. You will need napkins.

Photo by Jonathan Levy

The History

This recipe is a modified version of the TMNT Grilled Cheese published by Geek With Curves. Most notably, I left out the pizza rolls due to logistical difficulties; when you bit into the sandwich, the pizza rolls had a tendency to squirt out the opposite side of the sandwich. To substitute, I used sliced mozzarella cheese. I also swapped the ciabatta bread for sourdough slices, then worked my own magic with the mayonnaise, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning.

I once seduced half a kingdom with these sandwiches in attempt to impress one person (it worked, and we dated for three years).

A meal of four sandwiches was once auctioned off in a fundraiser for the Kingdom of Caid (winning bid was $55).

Photo by Jonathan Levy